Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
