i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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