Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
