im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
