I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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