That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
