apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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