He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
