I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
