Don't you send me to vm
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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