Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
