i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
