I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
