I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
