Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
