well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
