apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
