u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
