I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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