Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
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