Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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