I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
