im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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