I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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