Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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