I feel like abortions should bother me more
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
