And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
