Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
