I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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