I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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