Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Floor bacon is actually really good
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
