Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
