Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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