My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
