Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
