Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize