AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
