Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
