we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
