I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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