So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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