i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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