I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Jerry, you need to find god
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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