Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
