Kareoke will never be a sober sport
do herpes really smell.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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