Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
