im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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