the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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