Soap is not a condiment
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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