Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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