i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize