Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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