Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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