Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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