Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
