kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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