Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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