So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
