Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
