he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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