Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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