"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
