Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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