Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
