so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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