You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
