Do you still have your period?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
